Just a reminder that Episodes Night is once again happening at 7pm tonight! We’ll be watching episode 2 of all of our shows (Dark, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Galavant and Gravity Falls).

Brief-ish synopses for those who couldn’t make last week:

Dirk Gently‘s Holistic Detective AgencySeries 1, Episode 1: “Horizons” – More in-depth synopsis here (x) – …Not sure if I can even sum up the episode to be fair, it was a wild ride. Dirk Gently (a holistic detective) adopts Todd as his new assistant. There’s a corgi? Todd is under suspicion for quite a few murders and shouldn’t leave town. Time shenanigans are occurring.

DarkSeries 1, Episode 1: “Secrets” – More in-depth synopsis here (x) – Time is an illusion, the distinction between past, present and future is meaningless. Remember that! It’s important! Our main man Jonas wakes up from a nightmare of his father killing himself several months prior, leaving behind a note that was to be opened at 10:13pm, November 4. Guess what day it is? Yep, November 4. Jonas returns to school after a 2 month absence due to needing therapy after his father’s suicide.

A boy is missing from Jonas’ school: Erik. Parallels are drawn to another kid that disappeared 33 years ago, in the 80s. All is not as it seems as Erik is being held in a sort of prison cell with some really cool fox wallpaper, with 80s music videos on an old TV in the background. The 80s! Why are they stealing children?! There’s also an electric chair in the room because obviously it really ties the room together.

Jonas and some other kids go out in search of hidden drugs in the forest near a spooky cave and a very-much-previously-mentioned-throughout-the-entire-episode power plant. The kids being Jonas, his best bud Bartosz, the girl in their love triangle, Martha, Martha’s brothers Mikkel and Magnus, and Franziska, the police chief’s daughter. Cave does spooky stuff, they all run in the opposite direction, the 80s are chasing them down. Mikkel disappears in the chaos. The 80s have stolen another child!

In the harsh light of morning, they do indeed find a child in the forest. His eyes have been burned. Ulrich says that the kid isn’t Mikkel. (It’s so his brother, isn’t it? The 80s returned the wrong goddamn child!)

Back in Erik’s weirdly child-like prison cell, he’s getting strapped to the electric chair and his eyes covered by a metal headpiece. The 80s really gotta stop burning the eyes of children.

GalavantSeries 1, Episode 1: “Pilot” – More in-depth synopsis here (x) – Our main man Galavant has it all; fame, fortune, a girlfriend. Too bad the king, King Richard (or King Dick for short) also thinks his girlfriend is hot, so he steals her. Madalena thinks that power is cool, so she doesn’t mind and happily marries the king. Can we get an F for Galavant?

A year passes. Galavant is down on his luck. He meets Princess Isabella Maria Lucia Elisabetta of Valencia, the only person that could rival Daenerys Targaryen for how long their introduction takes. King Dick has stolen her lands (he really has grabby hands) and she wants Galavant to save her people.

Flashback! Two months earlier, it turns out that it’s Madalena who pushed the King to take Valencia, just to obtain the Jewel of Valencia. The King imprisons Isabella’s parents while she is exiled. Madalena keeps comparing King Dick to Galavant. He doesn’t like that so hides the fancy green jewel from her. He blackmails Isabella into drawing out Galavant.

Flashforward, present day! Galavant perks up when he learns that King Dick is behind it all. He is led to believe that Madalena still loves him. King Dick and his bodyguard Vinnie Jones prepare for Galavant’s return while Madalena continues a secret affair with the jester.

Gravity FallsSeries 1, Episode 1: “Tourist Trapped” – More in-depth synopsis here (x) – Twins Dipper and Mabel are spending their summer with their great-uncle Stan at his tourist trap. Dipper finds a mysterious journal that suggests there’s more to Gravity Falls that meets the eye. Mabel gets a boyfriend. Turns out her boyfriend is just a bunch of gnomes in a trenchcoat. They abduct her to make her their queen and marry all of them. Yikes. The gnomes form a mecha-gnome to try to get Mabel back. Mabel pretends to go along with marrying the gnome leader, Jeff, but ends up launching him into the forest with a leaf blower. The rest of the gnomes disperse and the day is saved. Just before the episode ends, Stan goes into a secret room after checking he wasn’t followed.

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